Sexuality Issues for Women Being Treated for Cancer
When you are having treatment for cancer, you may have side effects that affect your
physical response to sex. You may also have changing feelings about who you are, how
you feel about yourself, and how you feel about your relationships. All of these feelings
can influence your sexuality.
Gender words are used here to talk about anatomy and health risk. Please use this
information in a way that works best for you and your provider as you talk about your
care.
How cancer treatment may affect sexuality
Sexuality not only refers to sexual intercourse, but to other means of sexual expression,
such as touching and kissing. Treatment for cancer can cause many changes that may
affect your sexuality. It can also change the physical or emotional closeness you
share with another person. Different treatments can cause different physical and psychological
changes that can affect how you feel, look, and function. These changes may be short-term
(temporary), or they may last a long time.
Treatment may affect you physically so that your body doesn’t respond sexually the
way you’ve learned to expect. These are some of the sexual changes that you may have
during treatment for cancer.
All of these changes can affect a woman’s sexuality and her ability and interest in
sexual activity.
Self-esteem and body image are important factors that define how a woman feels about
herself. If your feelings about yourself and your body change, it can influence how
you feel about being intimate with others. These are some of the side effects of treatment
that may affect your body image.
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Anxiety
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Severe tiredness (fatigue)
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Hair loss
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Menopause, brought on by cancer treatment
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Pain
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Weight changes
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Changes in appearance after surgery
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Bowel and bladder problems
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Skin problems
Questions to ask before treatment
Many people are uncomfortable talking about sex. It may help to bring up the subject
with your healthcare team before you start treatment so you are better prepared for
how it may affect you sexually. Take the time to gather as much information as possible.
Think about asking your partner to be with you during these discussions. Here are
some questions you may want to ask your healthcare team before treatment:
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How will my cancer and its treatment affect my desire for sex?
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How will it affect my sexual function?
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How long will these changes last?
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What can I do about them?
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Will I cause harm to myself or to my partner if I have sex?
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Are there any restrictions that I should be aware of? Should I avoid certain types
of sex or positions?
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Will treatment affect my ability to have children?
Talking about sexual changes
Whether the changes are short-term, or they last longer, you can find ways to feel
good about yourself and be intimate with your partner. It is important to remember
to be patient and give yourself time.
Express what is happening and how you feel. You may feel awkward talking about sexual
issues and might find it hard to be honest about how you feel. Your partner and even
your healthcare team might wait for you to bring up the subject of sex because they
don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable. It can be helpful, though, if you ask questions
and talk about your sexual issues or concerns. Use these questions to help you put
your feelings into words and better communicate with others about your experience.
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How has my illness changed the way I see myself and feel about myself?
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How has my illness interfered with my role as partner?
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How has my illness affected my sexual functioning or response?
Talk with your healthcare team. If you notice sexual changes, tell your healthcare
provider or nurse. They may be able to ease some of the side effects of treatment.
Being able to talk about these issues, in particular, may help you.
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If you have any concerns about sexual activity, ask your healthcare team. It’s important
to not let fear keep you from experiencing intimacy.
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Report vaginal discharge or bleeding, fever, or pain to your team. Treatments may
be available to manage these problems.
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Discuss treatment choices with your healthcare team if you have menopause symptoms
because of cancer treatment.
It might be helpful to talk with social workers, counselors, or other women in support
groups. Your healthcare provider may be able to refer you to someone.
Coping with sexual changes
After cancer treatment, something that can help you maintain or restore sexual energy
is to focus on your physical recovery by eating a healthy diet and being active. This
can help you feel better mentally and physically. Remember that your partner is also
affected by your cancer, so talk about both of your feelings and fears. It can also
help to explore different ways of showing love, such as hugging and holding, stroking
and caressing, or talking. When you are being intimate, use these tips to help make
the experience a positive one.
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If needed, use birth control during cancer treatment so you don’t have to worry about
getting pregnant.
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Choose a time for intimacy when you and your partner are rested and free from distractions.
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Create a romantic mood.
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If your feelings about how your body looks keeps you from being intimate, use dim
lights, wigs, lingerie, and other things to cover wounds or scars.
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If pain or nausea prevents you from being intimate, try taking pain or nausea medicines
prescribed by your healthcare provider 30 to 60 minutes beforehand.
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If needed, use a water-soluble lubricant for intercourse when using condoms. If you
are not using condoms, you can use water-based or silicone-based lubricants.
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Try different positions until you find 1 that is more comfortable and less tiring
for you. Use pillows for added comfort.
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Remember that cancer is not contagious, and that being intimate will not cause the
cancer to come back or grow.
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Relax and try to find humor where you can.