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URMC / Employee Assistance Program / News & Events / UR Medicine EAP Blog / November 2024 / Don’t Undermine Your Assertiveness

Don’t Undermine Your Assertiveness

Many who want to be more assertive often undermine their own efforts, leading to confusion when their concerns or needs are ignored. When assertiveness is mixed with uncertainty and fear of being too direct, you lose the effectiveness of your message. Here are some examples of how to phrase your communication with more assertiveness:

  1. Hesitant and unsure
    Instead of:
    “If it’s okay, and if you have time—it doesn’t have to be today, but can we discuss my performance review?”
    Try: “I would like to discuss my performance review. What is a good time for you to meet?”
  2. Framing a question instead of a statement:
    Instead of:
    “May I offer another idea for everyone to consider?”
    ​Try: “I believe we should consider an alternative approach for this project.”
  3. People pleasing or conflict avoidance:
    Instead of:
    “I have a few observations to share about your report’s conclusions.”
    ​Try: “I noticed inaccuracies in your report; let’s review them together to ensure accuracy.”

At first, the statement may come across as assertive. However, the original statements' lack of assertiveness can trigger ineffective communication, confusion, delays in problem resolution, and hindering your workplace relationships.

11/14/2024

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