Know the Pitfalls

Things to Avoid:

•  Judging your loved one’s refusal to eat
•  Anger at your loved one’s ED behavior; blame the eating disorder, not the loved one
•  Repeated nagging about food eaten/purging  behavior: leads to resentment for everyone
•  Power struggles over food/ ED behavior
•  Bribing loved one to “give up” symptoms
•  Splitting food into good/bad categories
•  Discussion of physical appearance, workouts
•  “Guilting” or chiding your loved one’s lack of  progress
• Blaming yourself: self-blame causes anxiety and defensiveness in parents and loved ones

Things You Can Do:

• Learn what eating disorders are and the language of the disorder
• Ask your child what they’re feeling and what they need, and really listen to what they say
• Stay calm when you’re talking with your loved one
• Use “I” statements in your conversation – “I’m concerned; I’d like you to talk to a doctor with me”
• Gently suggest the possibility of getting a doctor or professional involved to assess the condition
• Be supportive
• Take an interest in what your loved one is feeling, dealing with, and trying to cope with
• If professionals are recommending weight gain, learn how to make high calorie foods for your loved one that won’t make them feel as though they’re overeating